


Just Pucker Up and Blow

by spikesgirl58



Category: The Man From U.N.C.L.E.
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-11
Updated: 2013-10-11
Packaged: 2017-12-29 03:28:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1000335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spikesgirl58/pseuds/spikesgirl58
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Napoleon finds a way for Illya to celebrate his birthday - warning Pun ahead!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Pucker Up and Blow

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kleenixwoman](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=kleenixwoman).



“Down!  Get down!” Illya had just a moment to register the words before Napoleon’s tackle sent him crashing into the underbrush, pinning him to the thick pad of detritus. 

“Do you... mph.”  Napoleon’s hand clamped over his mouth so tightly that Illya could practically taste his fingers.  A heartbeat later and the THRUSH jeep went roaring by intent upon recapturing them.  Napoleon pressed lower as Illya made himself as flat as possible.  It didn’t matter, they hadn’t been spotted.  The jeep continued past, but Napoleon didn’t move.

Slowly they became aware of the forest noises returning to normal.

“I think you can get off now,” Illya whispered even as Napoleon was rolling off him.

“You’re welcome.”  His partner got to his knees to check his bearings, then rose and gestured.  “Follow me.”

And Illya did.  It was what he always did - follow Napoleon.  The agent led the way through the underbrush to an outcropping.  Too far to be spotted from the THRUSH stronghold they’d just escaped from, too sheltered to be seen from the now distant road except by a foot patrol.  The bush would alert them of any approach and Napoleon again sank to the ground, glancing at his wristwatch.  He shook his wrist and held it up to his ear for a moment before nodding curtly.

“Expecting a visitor?” Illya eased himself down, resisting the urge to cup his temples.  It didn’t matter.

“How’s the head?”

“Throbbing nicely, thank you.  How are the wrists?”

“Likewise.  Remind me to let Section Eight know that they need to cut back on that accelerant.”  Napoleon again glanced at his watch and smiled grimly.  Then he began to search the ground, eventually finding a small stick.  He rubbed his fingers over it, cleaning it.

“What’s wrong?  What are you doing?”  Illya was ready to concentrate upon anything besides his pounding head.

Napoleon smiled and held it up.  “Blow on this.”

“Why?”

“Illya, just do it… now.”

Shrugging his shoulders, Illya blew.  At the same instant, the entire THRUSH complex ignited into a dozen fires.  A blast shook the ground, something they felt even from this distance.  Within moments, the sky was painted an extravaganza of reds, yellows and oranges. 

Illya grinned as he watched.  When Napoleon had had time to set the charges was beyond him, but it warmed his heart to know that particular band of THRUSH would never again plot to subjugate the world.  He forgot for a moment about being nauseous and dizzy.  He forgot about the ache in his limbs and the burning in his stomach.  For the moment, there was just the explosion.

“You like?”

“Nicely done… for an amateur.”

“Thanks.”   Napoleon held up his watch.  “One minute after midnight.”

“What was that business with the stick?”

Napoleon had gotten back to his feet and offered Illya a hand up. “I figured even a hard nose bastard like you would appreciate having a candle to blow out on your birthday.”  He patted Illya gently on his shoulder.  “Many happy returns.”

Illya did a quick calculation and shook his head slowly.  “I’d forgotten.”

“I know.  Now, let’s get back to the hotel, shall we?  As I recall, we left your lovely Edith and my adoring Kate awaiting our return.”

“Napoleon, you’re the only man I know who can think of such things after three days of being tortured. I just want to sleep for a week.  As far as I’m concerned, you can have your Kate and Edith too.”

 

 


End file.
